The Green Monster

The Green Monster

“Never take your crown off to make your haters feel comfortable.”

Jealousy is inevitable. Some feel it more than others, but it always arises among all types of people, teams, groups, friends, family, peers, etc. We can’t help it, it just happens! BUT it is so incredibly important as coaches and parents to set an exemplary example for our athletes so that they know how to handle situations where jealousy becomes an issue. It is sad and upsetting when coaches and parents get jealous and not only cause problems among themselves, but they cause a problem among the athletes and the overall team. Emotions run wild, feelings get hurt, and attitudes change. So, how do you handle your jealousy? Why are you jealous?

More often than not, you are jealous because someone is getting praised more than you, is marked as smarter, stronger mentally and/or physically, more athletic, better work ethic, greater skill sets, more experience, etc. We become frustrated and instead of looking into how we feel, why, how we can better ourselves, and how to deal with it properly and respectfully, we lash out, say demeaning and hurtful words, and treat the person(s) you are jealous of with disrespect and negative attitudes. WHY!? Why allow ourselves to treat others in such a disappointing way? Just because your team isn’t as strong yet, your athlete isn’t as successful yet, or your feeling less than another, doesn’t give you or anyone else the right to be mean and blindside someone who has done nothing wrong but work their butt off, put in extra practice time, go to camps and clinics consistently, and be a positive influence to your team. If anything, you should be grateful your athletes are being challenged, learning about what they need to do and should be doing to become better, but also learning how to handle uncomfortable, disappointing, and challenging situations.

Complaining, yelling, speaking without validity or a positive purpose is not helping the team, your athlete, or yourself. It is hurting everyone involved. Not being in control of your actions, words, and behavior is a big problem that is influencing the environment you are in and the people you are around. As a coach and parent, I would never want to influence my athletes into a negative manner when they are faced with challenges that can range in a multitude of situations and categories. I will always strive to think before I speak, because words are critical, they can truly make or break a situation, cause unnecessary harm, and disappointing acts. We should be acting in a positive and purposeful way!

Is someone stronger than you? More successful? Better at hitting, fielding, catching, pitching, etc.? Getting more praise and compliments than you? Instead of letting the green monster take over, think before you speak. Think about why they are stronger or more successful, what can you be doing to improve so that you are getting stronger and more successful? Blaming others, picking them a part, and using demeaning words and behavior is NOT OKAY. It is immature and wrong. You are hurting someone who has worked hard to be the best they can be, a parent or coach who has put money and time into helping their athletes succeed, and by judging them poorly based on your jealousy is faulting them for their hard work.

If you or your athlete are jealous, look at the situation before you speak and act. It is so sad when we see, hear, and have to deal with parents and coaches acting and speaking negatively, and seeing young athletes treating their teammates poorly. RESPECT is crucial for any person, athlete, coach, and parent, that’s common knowledge, but what is ignored, is how disrespect can truly influence another.

Our children should never feel at fault for being great at what they do, and as a parent or coach, we should never be put in a situation where we feel at fault for everything we do and have done for our athletes.

Written by Nikoli Sharp

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