{"id":272,"date":"2013-12-10T06:03:24","date_gmt":"2013-12-10T06:03:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.coachingafemaleathlete.com\/?p=272"},"modified":"2014-07-09T05:23:22","modified_gmt":"2014-07-09T05:23:22","slug":"how-to-build-confidence","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.coachingafemaleathlete.com\/?p=272","title":{"rendered":"How to Build Confidence"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Many of you may look at the title of this post and think, \u201cOh thank goodness, someone out there knows how to help my athlete gain confidence!\u201d\u00a0 Well, it may not be that easy.\u00a0 There is no quick fix<\/a>\"\", or perfect words to immediately fix your female athlete\u2019s insecurity or lack of aggressiveness.\u00a0 If it was that easy, every athlete with pure talent and the best potential would exceed the limits of their success.\u00a0 If it was that easy, we would all have All American\u2019s on our teams.\u00a0 Although there is not a quick fix to gaining confidence, you can help build it.<\/p>\n

Whether you are a parent pushing your daughter, or a coach attempting to showcase an
\nathlete\u2019s potential, the key is patience.\u00a0Female athletes respond emotionally before they exude their physical talents.\u00a0 If this leaves some of you confused, it\u2019s perfectly normal.\u00a0 A female\u2019s first response to most situations is through emotion.\u00a0 \u201cI didn\u2019t strike out the worst batter, I feel frustrated,\u201d \u201cI didn\u2019t take the shot to win the game, I feel upset\u201d.\u00a0 Most coaches and parents don\u2019t understand
\nthat emotion leads our physical state, which further invokes our mental game.\u00a0 When something negative happens in
\nour game, when our potential is questioned, we back off.\u00a0 Unlike male athletes, our first reaction
\nisn\u2019t to prove people wrong, but rather to fall in line and simply \u201cgo through the motions\u201d.\u00a0 Please don\u2019t look at this
\nas a negative aspect of the female athlete; it\u2019s good to be emotional, however, it\u2019s necessary to learn what emotions are appropriate in the game.<\/p>\n

If you ask a female athlete about how negative performance makes them feel, you will hear them say, \u201cI\u2019m upset about my game; I was frustrated that I didn\u2019t perform the task like I knew I could.\u201d\u00a0 Frustration.\u00a0 I have coached hundreds of athletes and after bad games and the first thing I always ask is how they felt about their performance in a bad game; about 99% of the time, they say they were frustrated.\u00a0 I cannot stress this fact enough: Frustration is the worst emotion a female athlete can have about her game.\u00a0 Frustration digs an athlete in a hole where they can only focus on the negative and struggle to find the positive in their performance.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s face it; you may be as frustrated as they are.\u00a0 You are their coach, parent<\/a>\"\", mentor, and feel for them more than they can understand.\u00a0 Frustration may be your first emotion too, but it is your job to bring them out of that emotion.\u00a0 It is your job to help them focus on the positive aspects of their game, regardless of their performance.\u00a0 There isn\u2019t a game that your athlete plays that doesn\u2019t have some form of positive feat.\u00a0 They may have gone 0-3, but they blocked a ball that saved a run from scoring.\u00a0 Your athlete won\u2019t recognize that play, but you have to bring it up.\u00a0 You have to help your athlete remember the positive aspects of their
\ngame to keep the growth of their confidence.<\/p>\n

Now when you tell your athlete to \u201cstop being frustrated and play like you know how,\u201d you will more than likely get a negative reaction, which in turn, can make them more frustrated.\u00a0 Now, you may think I am crazy for saying this, but your athlete needs to get mad.\u00a0 Your athlete needs to turn their frustration into anger which is a workable emotion for game time.\u00a0 This doesn\u2019t mean I support athletes being mean people, but they need to play mad.\u00a0 When female athletes get mad, all other questioning emotions fly out the window and you have an aggressive, confident athlete that you may have never seen in prior situations.\u00a0 Anger helps an
\nathlete to focus on the game without thinking about all the little things that normally bother them.\u00a0 It is also important to help your athlete remember that there is a difference in playing mad, and playing with arrogance.\u00a0 Playing mad implies that the athlete pushes herself to be better than her best, playing arrogant implies that an athlete is cocky without reason.\u00a0 As simple as it sounds to acknowledge the difference, female athletes struggle with the idea of \u201cplaying mad\u201d.\u00a0 They worry about what others will think and what reputation they will build as an aggressive athlete.\u00a0 They need the reassurance and confidence from you that her performance is good<\/a>\"\"
\n, and that this kind of reputation is good.\u00a0 I have always told my athletes, \u201cbe a nice person off the field, but give them a reason to talk about you on the field.\u201d<\/p>\n

Now your second thought, \u201cWell my daughter is a nice girl; I don\u2019t think she knows how to play mad.\u201d\u00a0 This is a good point,
\na lot of us our nice girls.\u00a0 A great way to promote confidence and push aggressiveness is to have your daughter compete against the athlete playing the same position.\u00a0 Most female athletes play the game their way, but don\u2019t think about their opponent.\u00a0 The best way to maintain aggressiveness and the best game out of her is to make her compete no matter what.\u00a0 Say your athlete is a short stop, have her watch the opposing short stops warm-ups and game as they are playing.\u00a0 This will not only keep your athlete\u2019s head in the game, but also promote competition to be better than their starter; if she hits a single, your athlete wants to hit a double; if she dives for a ball<\/a>\"\"
\n, your athlete will dive and make the play, etc.<\/p>\n

Aside from making competition, have your athlete create goals for herself.\u00a0 Say she is a pitcher starting the game.\u00a0 What does she want to accomplish?\u00a0 Have her set goals, in example, where she only allows 2 hits<\/a>\"\"
\nper game, 1 walk per game, and strives for 6 strikeouts.\u00a0 Creating competition within herself will only better her skills and help her to challenge herself in playing to her full potential.<\/p>\n

When you love the game, you love it for all the right reasons.\u00a0 When the game is your life, it is a tremendous feeling to play aggressive, with confidence, and make a name for yourself.\u00a0 I implore you to support your athlete in bringing out the best of her abilities, and by not playing nice, so to speak.<\/p>\n

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Key Facts for
\nBuilding Confidence:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n