{"id":210,"date":"2011-11-01T21:36:02","date_gmt":"2011-11-01T21:36:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.coachingafemaleathlete.com\/?p=210"},"modified":"2014-07-09T05:30:20","modified_gmt":"2014-07-09T05:30:20","slug":"how-to-be-a-parent-and-a-coach","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.coachingafemaleathlete.com\/?p=210","title":{"rendered":"How to be a Parent and a Coach"},"content":{"rendered":"

One of the most difficult tasks a parent can face is being their daughter\u2019s coach.\u00a0 Although it may seem like the perfect way to bond and build a strong relationship with your daughter, it can lead you into turmoil.\u00a0 Don\u2019t get me wrong, I believe it\u2019s great for parents to volunteer their time for their daughters and the team, but there needs to be a known divide between coach and parent.<\/span><\/p>\n

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WHEN TO BE A PARENT<\/strong><\/p>\n

Being a parent is the easy part; knowing WHEN to be the parent is a little tricky.\u00a0 It is perfectly fine to show your female athlete that you care about her and her athletics, but there is a fine line when you are a coach.\u00a0 Be a parent off the field.\u00a0 Take into consideration that you are coaching your daughter\u2019s team, not just your daughter.\u00a0 It is understandable that your daughter is the apple of your eye, your shinning star, but making that obvious segregates your daughter from her team.<\/p>\n

The more attention you give your daughter during practices or games, the easier it will be for her to be named a \u201ccoach\u2019s daughter\u201d.\u00a0 Let me just tell you, being \u201cthe coach\u2019s daughter\u201d sucks.\u00a0 Being labeled as such singles out your daughter as the girl who is going to play no matter what, play the position she wants, and seemingly, always get her way even if there is a better athlete for that position.\u00a0 You want to avoid giving anyone the opportunity of labeling your daughter as the \u201ccoach\u2019s daughter\u201d and allow her to earn her stripes like her teammates.<\/p>\n

Now, this does not mean you need to ignore your daughter on the field, just remember that she needs to be treated as a member of a team, not as your daughter.\u00a0 As I said before, be a parent away from the game.\u00a0 Encourage her before, between, and after games.\u00a0 As soon as you both step on the field, she is an equal member that should receive equal treatment to her teammates.<\/p>\n

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WHEN TO BE A COACH<\/strong><\/p>\n

Now that you are coaching your daughter\u2019s team, you must find a way to balance being a parent and being a coach.\u00a0 I have heard many coaches say, \u201cNo, I won\u2019t give my daughter special treatment, I won\u2019t be \u2018that dad\u2019\u201d.\u00a0 90% of the time, you are \u201cthat dad.\u201d\u00a0 Special treatment comes in many forms, even if you aren\u2019t praising your daughter, giving her negative attention is still special treatment.\u00a0 If you do not yell or nag all of the other girls the same as
\n<\/a> your daughter, you are showing your daughter attention that the rest of the team does not receive.\u00a0 In turn, she is singled-out as a coach\u2019s daughter.\u00a0 If you really don\u2019t think you are giving your daughter more attention than the rest of the team, have someone quietly count how many times you refer to her, use her name, call her out, or praise her.\u00a0 You may be surprised at the amount of attention you give your daughter unknowingly.<\/p>\n

I know you want your daughter to be the best, and you are destined to make her the greatest, but there is only so much you can tell your daughter before she becomes annoyed with your behavior.\u00a0 When your daughter begins to express and demonstrate desires of independence, let her be independent.\u00a0 Let her be trained by someone else; the more you push your training, the more she will try to prove you wrong; regardless if you are right in any way, shape, or form.\u00a0 There comes a time when you must step aside and either be a coach to all, or let someone else be the coach.\u00a0 I promise you your daughter will be forever grateful to simply be a member of a team rather than labeled as the \u201ccoach\u2019s daughter\u201d.<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t emphasis my last point enough; leave the coaching on the field.\u00a0 This truly enables you to be a parent and a coach without the hostility of intermingling the two.\u00a0 When you leave the field, you should be a dad; all coaching duties are set aside and you can now be a parent to your child.\u00a0 There is so much more to an adolescent female\u2019s life than sports; it is important to stay involved in her entire life so you can connect on more levels than athletics.\u00a0 Years from now, you want to be able to have a strong, well-rounded relationship with your daughter when sports come to an end.<\/p>\n

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KEY POINTS ON BEING A PARENT AND A COACH<\/span><\/strong>\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n